Has the following happened to you? As you are swiping, scrolling and chatting on Grindr, you come across someone who says that they are generous (or gen). It’s possible you’ve come across someone who says they are generous and want to meet. It’s possible you are a little unsure of what this means. That’s ok! When new words arise in the community everyone might have a different take on them or the definition. It can take time for the concepts to seep into the general consciousness.
If you encounter the term “generous” on Grindr, it means that the user is prepared to provide money, gifts, or other material support for a date or sexual activity. Motivations for this may vary, such as seeking convenience, indulging in findom fetishes, or pursuing a particular desire.
In this article we will unpack this new(ish) Grindr slang and I’ll dive more deeply into what it means, the nuances of this term and how to navigate someone using it and if you might want to start using it. I’ll elaborate on different reasons why someone may be using the term generous in their profile. I have also interviewed two people about this topic. Someone who is sometimes “generous” and one guy who met up with a generous person. These interviews aim to give you a fuller idea and of what this word can mean and how it is playing out in the gay dating scene from Grindr.
Unpacking Generosity – Grindr Edition
Reasonings Behind Being Generous and Receiving Generosity
Offering a monetary or material exchange for a date or sexual experience is an exchange as old as time. There are many reasons why someone might want to ‘be generous’ or receive generosity in exchange for their company.
For some, they might want a really specific unusual scenario or experience played out that a lot of people are not necessarily into. They might find that with the right price tag they may be willing to do it. For example I’ve received messages from people who wanted to play with my feet and offered to pay me for it. This is a great way to honor your needs, get your needs met and honor other people’s effort into meeting those needs. This is also a great way to receive someone’s generosity and explore an unusual sexual scenario you might not have thought about before. It can be a great way to experience new sexual adventures.
Another reason someone could be using the term ‘generous’ is that they might highly value discretion and see the hookup purely as a no-strings-attached encounter, almost a business deal, with no emotional connection. Again, this can be a way to experiment with more business-like sexual exchanges that don’t involve emotions and are meeting both people’s needs and desires.
Possibly, someone might be experiencing loneliness or depression and find it hard to build a connection with someone and find it easier to pay someone for the physical intimacy without having to go through small talk. To receive this type of person is also a great honor and can be very intimate if this is something you are open and willing to do.
Findom fetish is a fetish that explores escapism and is a type of BDSM in which the experience of money dominatrixing creates erotic desire in the submissive. Exploring this type of sexual experience can also be very awakening and eye-opening. It’s always best to understand why someone has proposed being generous on Grindr to understand their specific desires.
Meeting With or Being “Generous” On Grindr
As with all things sex and relationships, if this is not of your interest, a simple “no thanks” will finish the conversation. There is no judgement on what they desire or what you desire. It is just one way of meeting needs that can work for two people but not all.
If you are interested, good for you! Now let’s unpack getting clear on expectations. Frankly, this should be happening before all your dates so this practice should not look that much different. The details might be different, sure, but the checking-in on wants, desires and expectations should be a meeting up go-to.
To pursue a situation like this, whether you are a generous person or receiver, make clear the expectations and boundaries beforehand to ensure you are on the same page. Read our Grindr hookup etiquette article for the best do’s and don’ts regarding hookups. When it comes to being or meeting up with someone generous, the financial or material details can easily become a can of worms. Therefore be as specific as possible as to what you want to happen or what you are willing to do. Talk about when and how the financials will be exchanged. Be aware of risks such as exploitation or financial abuse.
As with all dates, it’s good to meet in a public place first, this allows both parties to assess if they feel comfortable and safe with each other. There have been many times where someone gets catfished and still gives in to having sex (against their will) because they feel like they cannot back out once they are already in the person’s house or in front of their door. Try to be proactive and keep yourself out of this position.
It’s also good to have a backup plan to get out of any situation, like having a fake call app that makes it seem you have an emergency that you have to leave for. At the very least make sure someone knows where you are. Share your location with a friend and tell them you are meeting someone.
Real Life Stories – Generous Grindr Interactions
Lars (26) Met Up With A Generous Guy
I was on Grindr one morning and a guy messaged me and offered to pay me $150 just to touch my naked body for 30 minutes. I was hesitant at first, but the money was tempting for how little I had to do.
When we met in person, I realized that he wasn’t interested in a massage or anything sexual. He just wanted to touch me from top to toe. To be honest, I found it a bit odd. However, I decided to go through with it.
As the man touched me, I could sense that he was a bit emotional. I felt emotional for him and wanted to do something to help him feel better. I was feeling that it was a bit unfair to just lie there and not do anything for $150, so I decided to jerk off while he touched me.
Throughout the 30 minutes, I kept asking if he wanted anything in return, but he kept denying. He didn’t want to take his clothes off or do anything else. I wasn’t too focused on the time limit, but when we were done, he paid me the money and left without saying much. I left feeling a bit confused but also grateful for the extra cash. It was a strange experience, but I felt like I had helped someone in some small way.
Michael (40) Who Took Someone On A Date And Was Generous
I have a confession to make. I have a rather uncommon fetish, I’m into fisting. There’s something about the act that just gets me going. But the thing is, it’s not exactly a super common fetish, and it’s not something I can just bring up on a first date.
I’m a busy guy, running a couple of businesses, and I don’t have a lot of time to search for someone who shares my fetish. And even when I do meet guys, they’re often not into it. It’s frustrating, to say the least.
That’s why, once in a while, I’ll pay someone to come over. They get some extra cash, and I get to indulge in my favorite pastime with someone who is willing and wants to be there and knows what I want upfront.
It’s just easier that way. And you know what? People are generally very happy with the deal. On a few occasions, someone discovered their interest in fisting only after coming over and trying it out.
Interview Takeaways:
Offering your generosity and being open to meeting up with someone who is generous can be fulfilling and come with its own bag of feelings, emotions, and thoughts. It’s worth remembering everyone’s humanity.
Ask for what you want and offer something in exchange if you are finding it hard or frustrating to meet that need. Get that coin if you want– you are fulfilling someone’s need.
Thank you to those that let me interview them, you know who you are and I’m sure more than one person is benefiting from your stories!
Watch Out For The Sugar Daddy “Scam” on Grindr
Sugar daddies are different from being generous. And there are definitely sugar daddies on Grindr, but they are very rare. And unfortunately, 99% of the time someone who contacts you and says they are a sugar daddy is actually a scammer.
Something that has been going around for a couple years now is a scam where a hot daddy reaches out to you and within a couple messages asks you to contact them on Whatsapp or Telegram. They often start the conversation with something like “Hey, I’m looking to be a sugar daddy for someone– I’ll give you an allowance of $2000 per month” (or something like this). They then proceed to ask you to do a chore (scam) for them before they can pay you, like opening a bitcoin bank account for them.
If it looks too good to be true, it usually is. You can always ask to video call over Grindr or Facetime the person just to be sure. If it isn’t the dream, just report the account as fake, Grindr is pretty quick with addressing these scammers
Grindr Generosity – Takeaways
A generous or (gen) gay on Grindr is usually someone looking for an exchange of sexual (or other) favors. This exchange could be cash, gifts, or other resources. Oftentimes this person has specific needs they want to be met and are willing to make this exchange for those needs to be met.
Maybe you’ve realized you would like to be generous on Grindr, great. Maybe you’ve realized you would love to be open to those looking to give their generosity on Grindr, great. Maybe you’ve realized you don’t want to engage in either of these roles, also great. The more we know, the more informed we can be about our sexual encounters!! Happy Grindr swiping!
