Have you been called a twink? Were you offended by it? First thing is first, if you feel offended then feel free to be offended, your feelings are valid and I am not going to tell you otherwise. However, just because someone called you a twink does not mean they meant it offensively, actually chances are they meant it as a compliment.
The word twink is not a slur or a negative term. It’s a term used to describe a specific type of gay man. A twink is described as a youthful, slim, smooth-skinned gay man, usually aged between 18 to 25.
So let’s breakdown the word twink: where it came from, how it is used in gay culture and other descriptive gay labels.
Gay History – The Word “Twink”
We are now in gay history class, so get a pen and paper. We are going to talk about the history of work, twink. Right off the bat, I have to let you down because linguists do not have direct pathways to the origins of twink. The good news is that there is lots of speculation and twink even has its own wikipedia.
The origin of the word twink most likely came from the 1920’s british slang word of “twank,” which was used to describe gay male prostitutes. Other possible origins come from, strangely, the junk food desert, Twinkies, as they are white, small and filled with cream (I don’t need to explain that part). Finally, there is the possibility that the word twink comes from the 1960’s and is a shortening of the word twinkie used to describe, “a gay or effeminate man; a younger male regarded as an object of gay male desire.”
The term might have meant different things to different gay communities, as gay communities used to be more geographically isolated in the past. As with all subcultures, words and slang take on their own meaning. In the 1990’s, however, twink was used to describe the band members Take That in an article without describing the meaning, indicating the word had entered mainstream culture.
From there, the word twink solidly takes its place in pop culture and porn during the early 2000’s. Twink-related pornography became easily to search for and the word was used in popular movies and T.V. shows, such as But I’m a Cheerleader and Queer as Folk.
Twink in Our Gay Culture
A twink, in gay culture, is slang for someone who’s body is youthful and possibly within the ages of 18-25. Slim with boyish features, smooth skin and little body hair, a twink often has little muscle mass. Some famous twinks are Olly Alexander, Troye Silvan and also Timothée Chalamet (who is not gay but has played a gay character in the famous movie Call Me By Your Name). It is important to note that twink is describing physical features and not personality characteristics.
Twink can be used as a label or as a way to identify with a gay tribe. It is often used on gay dating apps by individuals to identify and group themselves. Similar to how there are labels such as Daddy, Bear, Otter, Trans, or Jock (see further down for these breakdowns). It’s human nature to want to categorize things, especially things that we are sexually attracted to physically. Think of all the porn sub-genres that exist. It makes it easier to search for what you are attracted to if you can label it correctly.
Why someone might be offended by the word twink
Currently, most gays don’t see the word twink as offensive and a lot of people in the community enjoy being called a twink because it evokes sediments of youth– something many are obsessed with. That being said, of course there are exceptions. You might be one of those exceptions and that’s ok.
A person might take offence to being called a twink if they are insecure about their slim figure. They might be trying to gain more muscle because they dislike being skinny and being called a twink might feel deflating to them because they’ve been working hard hitting the gym.
Any word that describes someone based on their body type may be perceived as offensive because the way you perceive someone might not be the same way they perceive themselves or want to be perceived.
Take my own experience for example.
My Experience Being Called a Twink
I used to be considered a twink but didn’t necessarily enjoy that label being put on me because I hated being tall, lean and lanky. For me, I wanted to be big and muscular. This led to me hitting up KFC and McDonalds every week in hopes that I would get rid of my skinny physique.
I ended up becoming what I called, ‘skinny-fat’ because “apparently” you also need to work out to put on muscles – annoying! However, I didn’t really take offence at being called or categorized as a twink, it just reinstated what I wanted, which was to be a bit more muscular. It did eventually lead me to hitting up the gym consistently in combination with eating more so I could become a twunk or jock, terms I would rather be called and are explained below.
Other Popular Gay Labels
The label twunk is gaining popularity. It refers to your stereotypical twink that has some more muscle. Think a mix between a twink and a hunk. A good example of someone who turned twink to twunk is Zac Efron.
There are more gay labels that the community uses such as: Daddy, Bear, Otter, Trans, and Jock. A Daddy is considered a sexy, older man. A Bear is considered a beefy, hairy, and big man. An Otter is considered to be a ‘smaller bear’ or a leaner, scruffy man. Trans folks, are those whose personal identity and gender doesn’t correspond with their birth sex. Finally, a Jock is someone who works out (a lot) and is muscular.
All of these terms point to physical attributes. As mentioned above, calling someone a name based on their looks could offend someone. For example, someone might take offence to being called daddy or bear if they do not believe themselves to be old enough or big enough to fall into these categories.
I’ve seen friends who are in the beginning of their 30’s get called “daddy” on the apps or in the gay bars for the first time. It’s usually a funny scenario, but for some it’s a reality check that they are getting older. A 32 year old friend of mine who got called a daddy for the first time jokily asked me where the nearest botox clinic is. Joking or not, the anxiety around aging seems to be a big thing for gay men.
Calling Someone a Twink
Overall it’s fine to describe someone as a twink. The word twink is not a slur in any way, but a word filled with positive connotations. Just know that it is just a description of a body type and that it loses its meaning if you use it incorrectly or out of context. If you want to play it safe, ask someone how they label themselves or if they do at all – as some people don’t like being labeled.
As a general rule, let people label themselves first or ask how someone feels about being called xyz. And if you identify or don’t identify with any of these labels as a gay, let people know. You are allowed to call yourself whatever you want!
Recap: Is Twink An Offensive Word?
The word twink has many origins but is now used to describe a youthful, slim, and smooth-skinned gay man. It is a frequently used as a positive label in the gay community (as a gay tribe). It has positive connotations and is usually used to on gay dating apps to identify and group people.
It’s human nature to want to categorize things, especially things that we are sexually attracted to physically. There are lots of different labels used in the gay community to describe a wide range of physical characteristics. But not all people will be glad to be labeled based on their physicality and that’s ok!
