Grindr is a free social app for connecting with all types of people. The majority of users identify as gay, bisexual, queer, and trans (mostly male-identifying). However, it is not limited to these users. Grindr launched as the first queer, geosocial app in March 2009 and has since become the largest and most popular for its audience worldwide, meaning it has lots of potential!
While Grindr is a queer app, they welcome everyone to use it, even if you don’t identify as part of the LBGTQI+ community. We have straight friends who are a bit green-with-envy over how easy it is for us to meet new people through Grindr. When we travel we always find a good time, get the best bar recommendations, and meet like-minded friends through the app.
But what if I’m straight? Can I use Grindr
We have a straight friend (married in a cis relationship) who jokes, about using Grindr next time he is traveling alone so he can find a fun group of friends. To him, we say, do it! Using Grindr as a straight male doesn’t make you gay or bi. The connections are waiting. We encourage and welcome you to Grindr, even if you are straight.
Grindr is not only for gay hookups, people use it for a myriad of reasons. Some people are on the hunt for the best dance parties. Other folks are only interested in chatting or making new friends. People might be on the app to exchange a few pictures or do some sexting.
Others desire to date, hoping to find a partner. And some people are only on the app for a steamy hookup. The ‘whys’ are endless. The range of connections are exponential. Therefore, you should try Grindr, even if you are straight!
The Different Folks on Grindr
To get a sense of the groups of people on Grindr, here is a list of the groups of people on the app from most common to least. Single gay men are the most frequent users of Grindr after them you’ll see lots of gay couples (sometimes a straight couple looking for a third or friends). Then you will find bisexual men, trans men (ftm) and trans women (mtf) and straight men. We’ve even seen straight women who were looking for a gay best friend — the app covers it all!
On the App – Best Grindr Tips
Our suggestions for the app are to get clear on your goals, speak your intentions up front, and have fun! Here are our tips for making an account, creating your bio and being discreet on the app for our straight friends who are trying Grindr for the first time.
Your account
If you were worried, getting a Grindr profile as a straight person is safe and secure. First, you must make an account. You can create an account with your email address but will have to verify your account with your phone number. You can use an alternative email address if you wish.
Unlike most other social apps, you don’t have to upload pictures of yourself. So if being anonymous makes you feel more comfortable, that’s fine. Fill in your profile as much as you’d like. We encourage you to express what you are looking for and how you identify.
Once you’ve created your account you can turn off your exact location, so people won’t see where you are. If you leave the location option on, know that people near you will see how close you are by meter or feet.
Being discreet on the app
There are people who prefer to be discreet on Grindr. That’s totally okay. To be discreet on the app you can choose not to upload pictures of yourself, turn off your location, or use a different name. All of these are ways in which you can feel private and safe on Grindr as a straight person if you wish.
There can be many reasons for someone wanting to be private. For example, someone might be confidential because of their job. Other people might not be out yet. Some might not feel comfortable with others around them knowing they are on Grindr. All of these reasons are ok and normal.
Most people on Grindr understand and respect boundaries. As a user of Grindr, make sure that you also respect everyone’s wishes and reasons. Do your best to communicate your limits in a kind and productive manner and respect the limits given to you.
Express your intentions
The unique thing about Grindr is that it is a group of open-minded, curious, and welcoming people, so be as open as you can and it will be accepted. Think about your goals on Grindr and speak your intentions. Be clear and kind and you will be rewarded with the same. Win-win!
If you are not sure what your intentions are using Grindr, be open about that too. You could write, “Here to explore and be curious, not sure what I am looking for.” If you specify that you are just interested in chat only, say that, and then there are no expectations. No sweat. Trans women use Grindr and this might be your focus, put that in your bio. If your goal is just to make a gay best friend you can write, “Looking for a gay best friend, someone to hit the dancefloor with and have brunch the next day.”
Really, just let your intentions show. After you write your bio, then see people who also use Grindr near you. Look for people who seem like-minded and start conversations with them. Who knows, you might make a lifelong friend! For tips on how to create the best Grindr profile, check out my blog post “How Do You Get A Guy On Grindr To Like You“
Things to Consider On Grindr As A Straight Person
Occasionally, people will send nude pics without your consent. This is unavoidable. It is not considered best practice but it does happen. Grindr did introduce a “Private Album” option, where people can add their NSFW pictures and then give you access to see their private album. This has helped decrease the number of unsolicited dick pics.
Be aware that you might be hit on by different kinds of people that may or may not find you attractive (how nice). You can express your boundaries at any point. Feel free to write, “Sorry I am just looking for friends,” or “I am just here to explore the scene.” Again, we encourage you to be as open as to where you stand. It will make things better for everyone.
Sexuality
Know that if you are sharing sexy pics or even met up with a person over Grindr, it doesn’t make you gay or bisexual. It is totally normal to explore and try new experiences, it doesn’t define your sexuality. Trying something does not define a person.
You can dislike the taste of sauerkraut but keep trying it. You can join a baseball team for a season and then decide it isn’t for you — but gain one or two friends from the experience. You can research a new restaurant, find one you think you’ll love only to go there and not like the food. This is part of life.
Opening yourself up is a great way to get to know yourself better. Things you like, things you dislike. Stay open and curious. All information is a step forward in gaining a clearer sense of self.
Meeting up
If you connect with someone as a friend or are interested in someone on Grindr for the first time, meet in a public place. If you are trying to be discreet, you can choose a small bar or restaurant far from your house. We encourage you not to go to someone’s house immediately unless you know they are trustworthy and you feel good about the situation. This is for your safety of course.
Another great baseline for meeting up with someone is to manage expectations before. Express how you are feeling about the meet-up, your boundaries, and what you are expecting. Make sure everyone consents to the conditions. This way everyone is on the same page and no one feels confused or feels like their time is wasted. It is totally normal to say, “This is my first time meeting someone on Grindr..” The more honest you are, the more authentic the connection can be.
If you decide to meet up with someone over Grindr, check out my list of suggestions on conversation topics over here: “Gay First Date Conversation Topics”
Other (Gay) Apps
If Grindr doesn’t feel like the app for you, there are other gay social apps too. For example, you can try Scruff, which is similar to Grindr but tends to attract more masculine men who are muscular and hairy. There is also Gay Tinder, which focuses on dating over chatting and hookups.
All in all – Go Have Fun!
Grindr is a great way to meet new people and get to know yourself a bit better. You can use Grindr if you are straight as a way to make friends, find a community, or meet more open-minded folks. Using Grindr does not define your sexuality.
There are ways to be discreet on your profile if that makes you feel better. Turn off your location and don’t use a profile picture. Express your intentions in your bio and be upfront with people you talk to.
If you do meet up with someone from Grindr, meet in a public place and manage expectations by expressing your intentions before the meetup. Be open, kind, and have a good vibe and you will find the same! Most importantly, have fun!
